Prostate Cancer and Sex

From my short- time experience and from what I have heard already from other sufferers – this is one of those topics that men most want to know about- but few medics are specific about. All too often, the individual reality remains hidden behind terms and statistics like 30% impotence- but what does that mean exactly to the individual?

“Impotence” can be a very general term - to some it means an inability to sire children – yet to others it means the ability to have an erection and satisfy a partner. What does it really mean on a Saturday night when you are alone with a partner, you’ve had a nice meal, the mood is right- and you wish to indulge in some sexual activity?

In discussing this issue honestly and openly, it is necessary for me to ask you to first take the element of “love” right out of the equation. I’m primarily talking about sex and not love or lovemaking. We will put it in back later, but first in raw terms it is necessary to discuss the most basic drive (and function) in all males- the ability to have an erection and please or satisfy a partner.


Having an erection or being able to have one, is at the base of everything we hold dear as being the men that we are. Little wonder, problems with being able to achieve that, can strike at the very core of our sense of wellbeing and confidence.

Physically, each prostate case is different, and how the individual is affected long term entirely depends what is removed by whichever procedure. Given that there are two main “tubes” on either side of the prostate that supply the penis with the “wherewithal” to function properly, in most surgery’s one or even both tubes may have to be removed depending on the spread. Nowadays Surgeons are very careful to try to save as much as possible- but it’s not always possible. If a man’s cancer is on one side of the prostate, as it usually is, it’s almost a certainty that he will lose one of the two tubes. In such a case, his capability may be affected (although not necessarily) if prior to the procedure he had no difficulties in achieving full, firm erections etc. If on the other hand he was experiencing difficulties before one tube was removed, it is highly likely that his capabilities will be even further reduced.

From what I have been able to find out so far- most men with one tube intact may be able to function satisfactorily with or without assistance from such modern day marvels as Viagra or Cialus. This is a fantastic thing because it is not so long ago that there were fewer medical alternatives available, but now many men and their partners are benefiting from these recent medical advances.

If a man loses both “tubes” in radical surgeries, there is another alternative that is still viable in many cases . He can inject himself - (usually alprostadil) into the base of his penis. This is perhaps, not as radical as it sounds and I have two friends who, due to other medical conditions, have happily relied on these injections for several years and have reported few difficulties. They also stress it is nowhere near as bad as it sounds. These options have opened up the way over recent years for men to still indulge in ordinary sexual activity. If a guy is still experiencing difficulties- further adjustments with medications may help correct any imbalances.
One of the reasons why Brachytherapy is enjoying such a positive reputation, is because the procedure leaves the tubes intact, (although atrophied) which in turn, reportedly leaves men functioning better afterwards. In time, emissions will dry up and in cases of surgery where there has been removal, ejaculation will simply end up in the bladder. There will be the sense of cumming as well as an orgasm, but nothing will come out.

Again, all cases are individual and no information here can be relied upon as gospel – but there is cause for optimism because from what I have been told and from what I have been able to find out- in most cases a reasonable form of sex life has been possible post procedure or surgery.
One man I know had his prostate removed thirty years ago and he reports to have had a very active sex life up until very recently (he’s now 85). Although following the procedure he has been unable to produce any ejaculate, he said that he always believed his orgasms were even more intense and no less satisfying.

I mentioned in the beginning of this article that I was mainly speaking of only the ability to perform penetration with a weapon that functioned, but it would be remiss of me not to mention the special assistance that can be provided by a loving understanding partner within the confines of a relationship. While I’m not going to address that issue here simply because my research so far has been limited in that area, it is worth noting that in most cases a satisfying sex life encompasses much more than just penetration- and even though a man may be robbed of some aspect of his sexuality- the door is still open to explore and enjoy many other techniques of sensuality. It is seldom a case of coming to the end of the world!

Certainly, in these times, impotence is not the big bogeyman that it once was and in future times I look forward to exploring this topic more and posting information. If you have some experience in this area and would like to share it with me under a blanket of anonymity to share it with others, please feel free to contact me via the “contact me box” and your experience could be invaluable in assisting other men.

Dan Jarrett - one man's journey battling prostate cancer includes a diary, resources and blog. We look at things in layman's terms and discuss matters such as sex openly covering things that the medics don't tell you.

http://www.dansprostate.com

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